Chapter 3

The ceremony was flawless, because Selene's things always were.

Kieran came in with Rowan on his hip. My son is three now — dark curls, my father's stubborn chin, my eyes. He had both arms locked around Kieran's neck, saying Dada into his collar.

Selene put her hands out. He threw himself into them and said, "Mama," and the whole room went soft.

I picked up my champagne. My hand was steady. Isn't that something? Perfectly steady.

"Elara! Sweetheart." Selene came gliding over, lit up. "I told Kieran there was no way you'd be well enough."

"Wouldn't have missed it."

"That's the spirit." She turned. "Rowan, baby. Go say hello to Miss Kade."

My son crossed the floor and looked up at me the way you look at somebody else's aunt.

"Hi, Miss Kade."

I felt something crack in my chest. I smiled. "Hello, Rowan. Nice manners."

"Sit down, Elara." Kieran's voice. His eyes touched me for about a second and then went somewhere else.

I sat. It went on. They toasted the beautiful pup, the devoted Luna, the Alpha who'd doubled the Group in four years. I ate half a canapé and couldn't tell you what was in it.

Then, thirty minutes in, Selene said brightly:

"You know what I just realized? Elara carried her for me and she's never once had her."

The room dipped.

I looked up. She was smiling directly at me.

"We're all here for her. Go on. Take her."

And she came over and put my daughter in my arms.

Two hundred people watched. The blanket was warm. The little face was asleep, lashes down on her cheeks, one fist up by her ear.

You're mine, I thought. I made you.

Three seconds later my daughter opened her mouth and screamed like something was being done to her.

Selene had her back before I could move, rocking, shushing. "Okay, okay. Mommy's got you. Mommy's right here."

It stopped inside ten seconds.

The whispers didn't wait that long.

"Well. Blood isn't everything, apparently."

"She's holding her wrong, poor thing. She's very young."

"Oh, that's awkward."

I was still standing there with my arms curved around nothing.

"I'm so sorry, Elara," Selene said, sweet, pitched to carry to the first two rows. "She doesn't do well with people she doesn't know."

"I woke her," I said. My voice didn't shake, which I'm still proud of. "Thank you for taking such good care of her."

I turned to Kieran. "I'm not well. May I go?"

He looked at my face and something moved behind his. "Go. Rest."

I walked out through two hundred people who were pitying me, laughing, or having a good time.

It was dark by the time Mira got me to the car. Halfway there I turned around and looked back at the house — every window gold, the noise spilling out over the lawn. Kieran with his hand on Selene's back, looking down at the baby. Rowan hanging off his leg.

A perfect family.

None of it mine.

Midnight, Kieran came down to my rooms in the east wing.

I was already in a nightshirt with my hair down. I stood up anyway.

"Sit." He poured himself a drink. "Selene picked the name. Seren. You carried her, so I figured I'd ask what you think."

I looked at the carpet. "The Luna is her mother. Whatever she likes."

His glass made a small sound on the table.

"Fine. Good that you see it that way." A pause. "Second thing. Rowan starts at the pack school in the fall. Selene's handling the placement and the tutors."

I didn't say anything.

"I think it's cleaner," he said, picking his way through it, "if you stop coming up to the main house. He's getting to the age where he asks things. It's easier for him if there's only one woman he calls Mom."

I lifted my head and looked straight at him. My face was as calm as a frozen lake.

"Understood."

That did something to him. I watched it land. He'd come down here wanting a fight. He wanted crying, he wanted why, Kieran, why — anything except a woman with her strings cut.

"You got a problem with it?" he said, cold.

"I wouldn't dare."

"Elara." His jaw worked. "If you're going to sit there and resent me over this, explain to me how you plan on carrying any more—"

"Then take a mistress," I said pleasantly. "Or find another breeder. Clearly I'm not performing."

He came out of the chair. "I swore to her! I marked her in front of the Goddess and taking you already broke that! Do you have any idea what it cost me to put my hands on you at all?"

The room went completely silent.

And Kieran Thorne stood there and watched the blood drain out of the face of the woman who had given him two children in three years, who was still bleeding from the second one, and finally heard what had come out of his mouth.